Retarded Disabled Half-Gypsy Half-Jew Gay Rapper Wins Olympic Decathalon; Pisses off Nazis



.Berlin

Manual Ortizbrownowenzburger surprised millions today when he won the gold in the Olympic decathlon despite being a retarded, disabled, half-gypsy, half-jew, gay rapper. Ortizbrownowenzburger was allowed to compete in the Decathalon because the International Olympic Committee determined he had 'no chance in hell' of winning.  The I.O.C. cited his complete lack of mobility, mental retardation, inherent transient nature, and propensity to launch into freestyles at in-opportune times as reasons for believing he had no chance.  After somehow qualifying for the Olympics in his hometown of Hays, Kansas, Las Vegas bookkeepers put the odds of his winning a gold at 1,500,000 to one.  The gifted Ortizbrownowenzburger, despite early setbacks in the high jump and hurdle events, finished strong to win the gold. 

Although the retarded disabled half-gypsy half-jew gay rapper community has embraced Ortizbrownowenzburger as their new spokesperson, one group of people have not responded so favorably to his Olympic luck: Nazis.  "Fuck, man.  Seriously, what the fuck?  I mean, we spent years believing in all this Aryan crap, then this jackass comes along.  Now we just look stupid" said Chuck Krautenmeir, head of Neo-Nazi local 304 in Berlin Germany.

Ortizbrownowenzburger  is looking forward to returning to Hays Kansas to 'blow up his rap career' and to continue his day job, performing odd jobs for barter.  "Yo, I got a mixer for cleaning some bags gutters two weeks before the Olympics.  With my bling dangling round my neck, I should be able to hook up a couple of turntables and a PA setup for minimal work."